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“I AM A grown woman.

30 years old.

Two kids.

Married to a preacher.

And yet, I am still struggling to get modesty right.

The word ‘modesty’ means, among a slew of variations, ‘disinclined to bring oneself into notice.”

While my body isn’t exactly hanging out of my clothes, I do like being noticed.

Honestly, I probably dress to get noticed.

Recently, I began coming to terms with my clothes problems.

I’ve set some severe limits on both the number of items in my closet and the likelihood that any given item might turn heads.

I’ve realized that I have unhealthily defined myself by my wardrobe, allowing what I wear to dictate my moods, my level of confidence, and my feelings about others.

I’ve also realized I care way too much about what other people think of me.

More than that, I care way too much if other people think of me.

When I’m real with myself I admit that I prize compliments and seek affirmation.

I can recount every compliment I’ve received on an outfit at the end of the day.

Once, while shopping in Anthropologie (clothes heaven), a particularly well-dressed salesgirl ‘LOVED’ my scarf.

That off-hand comment fed something inside me.

I felt like a better person for having received it.

But looking back on it, I feel a little gross.

In Wendy Shallit’s book, A Return to Modesty she says the essence of immodesty is ‘a desire for spectators.’

I hadn’t ever seen it in that way.

In fact, I think subconsciously I’d decided dressing was all about spectators, about representing myself to others through my clothes.

I’d taken such care putting together outfits because I expected people to look at me, and when they did, I hoped they see a me I could be proud of.

I wanted people to look and say, ‘That Jennifer is so stylish,’ or “That Jennifer is so quirky and feminine,’ or ‘That Jennifer looks like she just stepped out of an Anthropologie store window’ (yeah, I’ve got Anthropologie hang-ups).

When I think about it now, I can’t believe I cared so much.

I am not my clothes, but sometimes I felt like I was, like if my outfit was great – I was great, and if my outfit was sloppy or out of date, well, I felt like a mess.”

Jennifer Gerhardt, I Really Want to be Modest and I Really Want to Be Noticed:  http://jlgerhardt.tumblr.com/post/3624151346/i-really-want-to-be-modest-and-i-really-want-to-be

“Do not let your adorning be external – the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear – but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.”  1 Pet. 3:3-4

“God loves you and I love you and that’s the way it’s gonna be!” – Mike

I’D LIKE TO tell you that COVID 19 will eventually evolve as a virus to the point that it no longer plagues mankind or takes another human life, but I can’t do that…  cf., Rev. 21:3-4

I’d like to tell you that protective measures in the worship assembly like hand-sanitizer, plastic gloves, facial masks, and six-foot distancing will soon be a thing of the past, and that you will never have to worry about any of them again, but I can’t do that…

I’d like to tell you that everything you’re hearing from the news outlets and social media about the origin, transmission, and treatment of COVID 19 is 100% accurate – and that there are no behind the scenes endeavors to spread misinformation, but I can’t do that…  cf. Prov. 12:22; 14:5

I’d like to tell you that those we voted into office are all faithfully executing their God-given responsibility to defend all actual citizens of the United States against every form of domestic terrorism, but I can’t do that…  Rom. 13:1ff

I’d like to tell you that no one in or out of government has a nefarious agenda to destroy the nuclear home, but I can’t do that…  cf. Rom. 1:21-32; 3:23

I’d like to tell you that due to the civil rights movement of the 1960’s, we can announce that true racism, in all its ugly forms, has been eliminated from our culture, but I can’t do that…  cf. Gal. 3:28; Gal. 2

I’d like to tell you that people in our modern society no longer classify fellow human beings solely on the amount of melanin in their skin pigmentation, but I can’t do that…  cf. 1 Sam. 16:7; John 7:24

I’d like to tell you that all Americans believe all black and white lives matter – including those within the womb, but I can’t do that… Psm. 106:38; Prov. 1:11; 6:17

I’d like to tell you that people are, by in large, anxious to learn from history, rather than concerned about erasing history, but I can’t do that…  cf. Rom. 15:4

I’d like to tell you that you, as a 21st century child of God, will never have to be concerned about suffering or being persecuted due to your faith, but I can’t do that…  2 Tim. 3:12; cf. Mat. 5:10-12; 1 Pet. 4:12

I’d like to tell you that, because you are a Christian, you have God’s divine protection from all forms of physical and/or economic harm, but I can’t do that…

I’d like to tell you that, despite the obvious and often irreconcilable differences that are currently dividing our country, we’ll soon be united as one, but I can’t do that…  cf. Luke 11:17

Someone asks, “Well Mike, what’s something good you CAN tell us…?”

• I CAN tell you that there is a God in heaven who is all powerful.  “Great is our Lord, and mighty in power; His understanding is infinite.”  Psm. 147:5

 

• I CAN tell you that God loves you so very much that He sent His very best, His only begotten Son – in human form – on your behalf.  “Behold, the virgin shall be with child, and bear a Son, and they shall call His name Immanuel,” which is translated, “God with us.”  Isa. 7:14; cf. John 3:16; Heb. 2:9, 17; 5:7

 

• And I CAN tell you a) how to be saved from sin and b) live righteously in a world drowning in sin, c) how to face uncertain days with peace, and d) how to go to heaven when you die.  “Do not fear any of those things which you are about to suffer. Indeed, the devil is about to throw some of you into prison, that you may be tested, and you will have tribulation ten days. Be faithful until death, and I will give you the crown of life.” Rev. 2:10; cf. Rom. 6:3-4; 17-18; 2 Thes. 1:7-9; Jas. 1:2-4, 12; 1 Pet. 1:6; Rom. 8:18ff; Phil. 1:21

“God loves you and I love you and that’s the way it’s gonna be!” – Mike